Curiosity, Not Problems
It has been said that the world is full of problems. Some of us avoid them, some of us sulk about them, and some of us prefer to talk about others' problems.
In today’s world, problem-solving is regarded as a virtue. We’re encouraged to identify and tackle problems head-on, and our ability to quickly resolve issues is often seen as a measure of competence that earns us respect.
Looking for a job? It’s likely the job description will ask if you’re an excellent problem solver. Looking for a mentor, advisor, or counselor? Chances are, they are known for their adept problem-solving abilities and can quickly advise you on what to do. Having difficulties with financial management? You better solve it quickly, or face financial doom.
Problem-solving can be a relief when resolving conflicts. From my own experience, I can confirm that getting rid of a problem brings a sigh of relief, even if only for a brief moment.
There is comfort at stake if we don't eliminate our problems as quickly as possible.
It is important to understand that life is unpredictable and constantly changing. Attempting to control every aspect of life and seeing circumstances as problems to be solved becomes an endless cycle of exhaustion. It's akin to playing whack-a-mole, where as soon as you conquer one problem, another emerges to take its place.
I, too, once saw life through this lens of endless problems. Each solved problem seemed to give rise to two more, leaving me drained and frustrated. Over time, I had trained my mind to look for problems. No wonder I was tired and frustrated. But I've come to realize that constantly seeing life as a series of problems only perpetuates the cycle of problems. Life is not meant to be a never-ending game of whack-a-mole; there is an opportunity to embrace obstacles with curiosity as they present themselves.
Would it be okay for you to simply sit with what may be causing you discomfort instead of trying to fix it? Can you be curious and simply be with it? Whatever “problem” is in front of you right now is an opportunity for you to develop self-awareness and learn and grow from the experience. I invite you to experiment with shifting away from seeing problems in your life and instead focus on being curious about yourself in this uncomfortable moment. What qualities are emerging for you? What qualities would you like to develop? If we consistently see these “so-called problems” as moments of reflection, then we will exponentially develop awareness of ourselves and the relationship we have with life.
And one final thought: Practice compassion with yourself in these moments of reflection. It may be too easy for many of us to criticize ourselves. This is about curiosity, not criticism. Simply reflect and let go.
